Especially For Mum

http://especially-for-mum.blogspot.com/

I'm just not strong enuf

Dearest Mum,

as i was lighting a josstick for u just now, my tears automatically flow down. i'm trying real hard to control myself ... but i wasn't strong enuf. i still miss u Ma, very much indeed ....

'san yi' (3rd aunty) had been doing a lot of prayers for u so tat u can have a better and smoother life (which we're positive u're indeed experiencing it now). and she had been taking gud care of us. not oni 'san yi' alone, other uncles and aunties (your brothers and sisters) too had been taking care of us very well. so no worries Ma ...

a fren of 'san yi' called 'san yi' just now but 'san yi' went to temple to do prayers for u. i told her tat 'san yi' went out to do prayers and 'san yi' fren was touched and said tat was indeed very gud of her. Ma, u really have a gud family wic really take care of us well. we were lucky for tat too .. untill then Ma, do take care and wait for us at Pureland ...

How?

Dearest Mum,

House had became upside down since u're gone. all of us are not sure wat to do at times especially me, till i nearly broke down to tears wen i was doing the housework all by myself.

Seriously, i had no idea how u handle the house chores all by urself. ur daily routine was to do housework early morning till 3pm. den had ur bath and straight to work wic is from 4pm to 11pm. and u came bek home after tat and did a lil housework. how did u manage to do all by urself ???

ta jie will be waking up at 630am doing washing etc until she was supposed to go for work. and as for me, after work i will be heading home making sure u're dearest Bao Bei , Karen did her homework. after dinner i will be washing the dishes etc as well. now we understand how u had been struggling to maintain this house in gud condition.

Ma, it has been quite sumtime since we last chatted. i miss u ... again *cries*

Disney MP3 Player

nice !

and the memories came back ...

Ma, while i was cleaning ur pillow just now, i saw few strains of ur hair. and i started to miss u again ...

karen dreamt of u the other day. she dreamt tat she hug u n cried. and with ur soft voice u said "haiya, my tis lil girl".

d other day ta jie was crying to herself. d moment i saw her cried i cried too .... we just miss u too much Ma ...

time will heal..time will heal... *sigh*

its been 2 weeks since u're gone

ma, i still miss u so much ...

been thinking a lot bout u. and seriously, i still cannot accept the fact that u're gone. i acted as though u went for a long holiday.

yesterday i dreamt that i miss u but u're not in my dream. i miss u so much that i cried in my dream and wen i woke up, my eyes were wet.

i remembered ur last year's birthday falls on Friday. i purposely took leave on Friday without telling u so tat i cud give u a surprise, and shoot bek to Mlk on Thursday night and even bought u a cake all d way from KL. i noe u wont be around till 11pm. i quickly took shower and wen u came bek later on, i was hiding inside sister's room. u notice my towel were wet and u question my sister asking who had been using my towel. i guess u're observant or shall i say that u actually miss me ? so my sister lied tat she accidentally used my towel. and by the time its 12am, we started bringing out the cake and sing u birthday song and i show up at the end of the song. u were surprised! it was indeed a surprise bday for u mama. we asked u to make a wish and u wish tat all of us had a gud career and smooth life in future. but mama, y didnt u wish for urself? y didnt u wish tat u had a smooth life and wish for longevity? again u tink bout us...

amy was checking thru ur wallet the other day. and she saw my photo in ur wallet. there's no other photo except for my photo. i guess u do miss me a lot, just like how i miss u now ....

5 months bek wen we noe u're sick, i got u a Mystic Knot keychain from World of Fengshui. This wonderful knot symbolizes a long and happy life enriched with endless good fortunes, and uninterrupted by illnesses or setbacks. u took ur keys together with this keychain and said "Gal, lets hope tat this wonderful keychain will help me ya". my heart broke into pieces and i nearly cried out.

wen u were informed tat u were diagnosed with liver cancer, all of us broke into tears. but u were there cheering us up. we noe tat deep down in ur heart, u were like us too ... crying hard.

popo told me tat u informed her i've changed into a better person. thank u ma ... tats because u thought me how to appreciate our family and our loves one.

wen ur frens drop by to pay u last respect, ur frens saw me and said "u look just like ur mum wen she's young". i gave them a huge smile and feel proud!

ma, the other day i make ah yi cried. i told her tat i miss u so much, she was touched and she cried.

few years bek i was crying to myself due to sum reason, u gave me a hug and cried together with me. thank u ma ...

i remembered sumtimes i called u "aunty" or "madam wong" or "ah wong" instead of mama. in fact u don mind and u can respond bek saying "haiyo, aunty oso wish this tat la". and instead of saying bye i said "chiao" to u. we were just like close frens!

ma, how i wish u're still here with us. we miss ur voice, ur laughter, ur jokes, ur cooking and ur soft touch.

wen we siblings were chatting together, we will say "mama will do this mama will do tat". sigh

i heard sumthing gud bout u. we were happy bout tat news too. do take care mama. i'll always pray to Amitabha ask Him to take care of u.

gud bye ma ...

aku susut badan?

i went shopping wif 2 girlfrens of mine. was trying on this slack from Padini. i took size S and size M. both didnt work out well. too tight??? no no no ... too loose! so i tried size XS and it went well! aku kurus ady! yay.. or isit the cutting mia pasal? hahaha, who cares! as long as i feel siok sendiri can ady. hahahah!